3/16/2005

Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Is Hard Work! vs. Where's My Dinner?

By point-counterpoint
(promoted from comments)

Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Is Hard Work!
by Dee Patterson
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not usually a "complainer." It's just that I wish my husband Michael would try to be a little more understanding about how much work it is to run a home and take care of two young children. I try my best to be organized, and my dear mother-in-law Elly is always there to give me advice on how to manage my time, unlike my awful mother whose solution to my messy house and frazzled nerves is to offer to buy us a big house and pay for a nanny! Despite my best "efforts" I can't seem to cope some days.

Like a few weeks ago -- Merrie was having one of those "terrible two" moments. I was trying to get dinner and "the kid" kept clinging to me. The only way I could get anything done was to let her pull all the "pots and pans" from the cupboards and play with them. Sure, it was a bit "noisy" and quite a "mess," but no big deal. To me, anyway. My "better half" didn't think so -- he got into quite a snit when he came home and saw Merrie busily "cooking" on the floor. We had a little tiff about it. Nothing serious, of course, but it sort of illustrates my point -- Michael doesn't really appreciate the work I do around here. I know he's tired after a long day of work, especially with all the responsibility he has as senior editor of one of Canada's premier magazines -- but heck, I don't think he knows how exhausting caring for two little kids can be!

This is why I'm thinking about going back to work soon. I miss working in a professional atmosphere, discussing the latest pharmacy advances with my colleagues and, to be "honest," getting dressed up in something other than sweatpants! I'm so starved for "adult" conversation, I actually volunteered to drive Michael's little sister back to Milborough just so I'd have someone to talk to -- and April's only 13!!! That's how far I've sunk, I've taking to cruising Yonge with my prepubescent sister-in-law just to get a break from diapers and temper tantrums!

Merrie's adjusting well to daycare, but since Ardith just had another baby, we'll have to find a good sitter for "Robin." As soon as we do, watch out, Toronto! Dee Patterson, Pharmacist, will be a "working girl" again!




Where's My Dinner, Bitch?
by Michael Patterson
Christ on a cracker -- here we go again! "Michael, I'm tired!" "Michael, I didn't get the laundry done!" "Oh, Michael, I didn't have time to get dinner started yet!"

These kids are not that much work. One of those kids is in daycare for three hours a day when the other one presumably naps. Are you trying to tell me that in three hours you can't manage to throw in a load of laundry, pick up some of the eight million goddamned toys littering this place and maybe, just maybe taking the time to plan and prepare a decent meal for once?

Christ, Deanna, I get up at 6 AM, I get Merrie her breakfast and change and feed Robin. That leaves me with about fifteen minutes to shower and dress and get out the goddamned door by seven. On my way out the door I pass you, having woken up about ten minutes before, sitting on the couch in that ratty bathrobe staring blankly at the TV where "Good Morning Toronto!" is blaring. I get home at six to the same mess I left in the morning only to have two wailing kids thrown at me the second I walk through the door while you "get dinner." What the hell do you do with yourself all day?

As for all this "I want to go back to work!" crap -- I know your profession means a lot to you and you certainly talk about it enough. But I gotta tell you, Dee, you're the worst pharmacist in Toronto, perhaps all of Canada. My proof? Our daughter, the direct result of your not knowing that antibiotics can interfere with birth control pills!!! Jesus, Dee, kids April's age know that! I bet all those Americans who are flocking over the border for cheaper medications wouldn't be in such a hurry if they knew someone of your intelligence was in charge of dishing them out!

And baby, I love you but ... if you want to wear something other than sweatpants you're gonna have to pry that fat ass off the couch and call Jenny Craig or something.

Things are going to change around here, Deanna. I want this place cleaned up and looking shipshape when I get home. I want those kids fed and in their pajamas by the time I come up the walk -- trust me, they're not getting anything out of eating with us when all you end up doing is screaming at them. And while you don't have to be wearing pearls and high heels, I want to see you looking like you at least took a shower. I don't want to look at the couch and see your still-warm assprint on it.

And I want my goddamned dinner ready, on the table, and I want it to be adult food for once, not this bland crap we eat for Merrie's sake.

Got it, woman? Dinner. On the table. When I get home. Otherwise, you might find yourself writing monthly letters about how hard it is to be a single mom. There's a new copy editor at Portrait named Marrgherette and she's pretty hot.

  • Today's strip
  • 12 Comments:

    Blogger mike said...

    In the last panel of today's (3/16) strip, April seems unusually, well, booty-ish -- the aspect ratio of her butt and chest seem out of whack. And, the motion lines eminating from her backside -- is Lynn encouraging us to watch April "shake it"? Weird.

    5:56 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Man...man! Who wrote that? Because my husband and I have had almost that same exact argument. The defense for Dee wasn't good enough. It's hard being a nursing mother. It takes a lot out of you (granted Dee has given up nursing). It's hard when you have a baby who cries if you leave him for 10 minutes and you don't want to spend the next 2 hours calming him down, because thats how long it takes. He's human being too and he's stubborn. SO, I feel for Dee in some aspects but man she does have Merry and she's old enough to be of help, PLUS Merry goes into daycare. I tell ya though, Men think they can handle it, but if they switched places (along with nursing and the 9month birth recovery with the horrible raging hormones), they'd cry the same way. Damn you made me sympathize with DEE!! How evil!

    6:18 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    My favorite part: The assistant named "Marrgherette". LOL -- just the type of weird name Lynn would send up.

    7:03 AM  
    Anonymous wingnuts said...

    Yeouch! Hilarious, but...yeouch!

    7:49 AM  
    Anonymous point-counterpoint said...

    To anonymous who had the same argument with her husband -- I actually do know it's hard work :) It's really a parody of LJ's depiction of Michael as a super-sensitive hands-on dad and supportive husband. I'm not making fun of moms (SAH or otherwise), just LJ and her characters!

    7:51 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I thought the point of the weakness of Dee's arguments and Mike's mean response was to highlight how ridiculous these two and their situation are: Dee's Mom offered them a house and they wouldn't take it, yet they spend all their time complaining about spending time with their kids and how small their apartment is.

    8:26 AM  
    Blogger John Comic said...

    It's really a parody of LJ's depiction of Michael as a super-sensitive hands-on dad and supportive husband.

    Hey! I got that one all by myself! Go me! :)

    10:48 AM  
    Anonymous Charles said...

    I hate to correct such a lovely post for many, many reasons, but from what I remember, Deanna's first pregnancy occurred because she switched birth control pills and stopped taking them for a time to "flush the old ones out" of her system before starting the new ones. It wasn't because she was taking antibiotics that conflicted with the pills. Either way, it shows her stunning incompetence in the field of pharmacology.

    7:51 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Charles....you.....are.....scaring....me

    5:07 AM  
    Anonymous Charles said...

    Two reasons for remembering that:

    1. There have been multiple lengthy discussions of it on the comics newsgroup since that original strip ran over two years ago.

    2. It truly is a shocking level of incompetence if we're supposed to believe Deanna's a pharmacist.

    9:36 AM  
    Anonymous Point-Counterpoint said...

    Charles -- I recalled for some reason reading that it was an antibiotic and remembered thinking "who didn't know that???" But either way, you're right -- still would make her a poor excuse for a pharmacist! Thanks for the correction.

    11:52 AM  
    Anonymous Jazmin said...

    I remember Deanna mixing up her birth control pills, too. The reason why I remember is because Liz was having a conversation about it with Dawn, and Dawn pointed out it was too "convenient" how it happened. IOW- she insinuated that Deanna's "accident" was on purpose.

    It happens all the time in real life. Some flaky woman "mixes up" or "forgets" her birth control pills on purpose. I had a "friend" who really did this in real life. Of course, now she's divorced. :)

    10:09 AM  

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