A Bargain at Twice the Price

"Five bucks...how can a card be worth five bucks [Canadian]," gripes April. (Seemingly somewhat out of context, since this young teen would not have been around in the "old days," when cards cost, say, only $2 Canadian.) Speaking through our youthful protagonist, crusading Lynn Johnston is willing to take the controversial position that "things cost too much these days!" Why, even a horny not-quite-14-year-old can see it.

So, inpsired by Comrade Johnston's courageous willingness to take on our capitalistic society, and reminded of an observation a few days ago by contributor Buster Bear, I moused over to the "Shameless Commerce Division" of the official For Better or For Worse web site.

As of today, $5 Canadian equals about $4.15 US. (Thank you, George Bush! Ever wonder why fuel costs $57 per barrel?)

So, what would that buy you in the FBOFW shop?

  • 11% of a signed, 9" x 13" copy of today's hee-larious installment of FBoFW.

  • One-fourth (32 pages) of the latest FBOFW collection.

  • One-fifth (two short-sleeves) of a t-shirt feauturing the most popular FBoFW character: Dr. John the dentist.

  • About one-eleventh of a pendant depicting the Patterson rabbit.

  • 60% of a 2005 wall calendar (marked down since we're 30% into the year).

  • Just slightly less than half of a Ned Tanner Figurine. (Advice: Choose the upper half, since the arms appear to be disproportionately larger than the legs.)

  • Slightly more than half a bib.

  • One-sixth of an Elizabeth charm.

  • 1.3% of one FBoFW animation cel. (Great news: Layaway is available!)

  • 20% of a video of the Lynn Johnston story.

  • About 80% of the shipping costs for receiving any of this fabulous merchandise.

    Hmmm, right about now, that $4.15 greeting card seems like a bargain!

  • Today's strip

    Anonymous Josh said...

    My thing is - what's that on the cover of the card? Sort of Picasso-esque, but in a bad way. Maybe she's leading into a story that will benefit TVAC?

    1:32 PM  
    Blogger Buster Bear said...

    Coming soon:

    The De-Masculineator Knife Set, featuring a different drawing of a grimacing Therese on the handle of each knife - $19.95 Canadian (plus shipping and handling)

    The Tarty Beckers belly-button ring, with a notch for each detour “roadside” - $13.00 Canadian (plus shipping and handling).

    Order now, supplies are limited.

    6:09 PM  
    Blogger josephus rex imperator said...

    Possible Outcomes: The Odds

    Beckers gets arrested for shoplifting and hauled to juvie: a Very Important Lesson learned. (8-5)

    Beckers says to Ape, "...an' I've missed three 'you-know-whats' now!" (3-1)

    Nothing much, except that Ape and Beckers commisserate about Thérèse's avarice. (5-1)

    They run into Jeff-O, and Beckers tells him off, but good. (10-1)

    This is just one of two or three throwaway strips, and a new plot line will begin on Monday. (12-1)

    On the way back from the mall, Beckers is horribly disfigured in an accident. After all, there's a price to pay for dissing a Patterson. (15-1)

    A girl-gang hacks Ape to death in the ladies' room; Beckers discovers her and urinates on her corpse. (no bets accepted, but one may hope)

    6:50 PM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The card must be embossed with pure 24k gold. That's the only reason it could even be $5.00, because a Wal-Mart card -- the best way to show your displeasure at someone asking for cash -- tops at usually $1.95 American. It's not a comment on capitalism, just a comment on stupidity.

    1:36 AM  

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