Tenants Beware: Don't Rent from this Woman

Clearly, Lovey the Landlady doesn't get into the niceities that most propety owners follow. It's customary, after a tenant moves out of an apartment for the owner to have it cleaned and painted -- even if the previous tenants were as saintly as Michael, Deanna, Merrie and Baby RobinTM.

Not so with Lovey. As she might say, "What? You want I should clean the apartment? Oy, what am I, baked kugel?" Check out this time line.

Day 1: Mike and Deanna check out the new apartment. Ewww, it's a mess. Gross -- pizza boxes and professor dander. Yuck! Deanna spends all day cleaning. Tired from watching Deanna clean, Mike can't finish the moving job, so the family drives across the Toronto metroplex to Ma and Pa Patterson's (at least an hour away, we've previously been told), so Mike can spend a restful night in the beloved house of his beloved mother. (Oh, gosh, I hope those kids can buy that house someday!)

Day 2, morning: Mike and Deanna drive back to wherever the heck it is that they live. Again, another hour. So, let's assume they got an early start and again began moving by 7 a.m. Since Michael dragged his friends over to the house, there must have still been junk to move out of the old apartment. (You don't bring in your friends to move around boxes that are already in your apartment, do you?) But, with at least three able-bodied guys handling the job, they should get everything out of there by lunchtime, right? But...

Day 2, evening: "It's too late to buy a bolt," somebody -- probably Lawrence -- declares. This suggests the move was completed some time after 9 p.m. Otherwise, a quick run to the hardware store would have solved this otherwise insurmountable creaky bed problem. Mike and Dee lay their misshapen butts (shout out to Foobiverse) into bed. And immediately the new downstairs neighbors pound on the ceiling.

That means the "older couple" taking the smaller downstairs unit must have started moving in within seconds of the Pattersons' exit. (And strangely enough, even though they are quite old and undoubtedly moving in from another location, instead of from just down the stairwell, those fogeys appear to have gotten their move in completed in about the time it took Michael et al to assemble one bed.)

And, this in turn means Lovey the Landlady couldn't have really done anything in terms of cleaning or painting or general preparation of the apartment the Pattersons left.

This suggests to me that Lovey could use an introductory course in building management. Or, maybe, that FBOFW needs an introductory course in comic strip continuity.

  • Today's evidence strip

    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    perhaps cleaning and painting is customary some places, but not even my very kindest landlords have ever done such a thing. Mostly they're like, "where's my first and last and security? here's your key. that smell will go away if you open the window. "

    7:31 AM  
    Blogger mike said...

    Wow, that's really strange. It's possible I've had atypical landlords. Each time I moved into a rental, the place had been cleaned and painted. The painting isn't just a courtesy, it helps protect the walls and general value of the property. And, it's easier to do it when no one is in a house or apartment than when someone is.

    But, even if some -- or many -- landlords don't clean and paint befor turning over a property, we've been led to believe Lovey isn't just any landlady, but the bestest, most wonderfulest landlady who would rather give away an apartment than lose a tenant. Seems to me such a person would not schedule a move-in the same day as a move out.

    9:52 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    The place I am right now does it "as needed"

    Unfortunately, that means that when I moved in ~2 years ago, they decided there was still another year or so left in the paint/carpet/AC unit/stove/dishwasher, and so they're all in fairly bad shape now.

    But so when they get too worn down after someone moves out, they'll replace all the carpetting, repaint, upgrade the major appliances, etc. No luck on getting any of that done while I actually live there, though.

    And of course, even though they CLEARLY should do that to mine on moveout, they'll still probably try to nail me on my security deposit for wear on the carpets...

    1:14 PM  
    Blogger Visaman666 said...

    My ex and her daughters were looking for a place to stay. One daughter was looking at rooms, and the landlord said that the room was freshly painted. After asking around the daughter larned that the previous tenant had shot himself in the head, hence the new paint job.

    2:59 AM  

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